April 2012
32 posts
“Pt is agitated and trying to grab his tube. Tachy 150s, HTN to 180. Ativan gtt at 14, fentanyl gtt at 500, precedex gtt at 1.5.”
—Why didn’t you tell me CHarlie Sheen was here????
“nuuuuuurse….. Nuuuuuuurse. …. Nuuuuurse.”
“molllyyyyy….. Mollllyyyyyy….. Molllyyyyy.” —Poor Molly now knows to never tell her pts her name.
“molllyyyyy….. Mollllyyyyyy….. Molllyyyyy.” —Poor Molly now knows to never tell her pts her name.
“Pt wants to talk to you.”
—Why is anyone in the ICU talking.
“30 ICU pts. No discharges. Incoming admissions.”
—black weekend. Fml.
“Pt does not speak a word of English.”
—Bitch best know sign language!
“Stuck in a terrible conference.”
—pager doesn’t even go off once.
“The secret joy u get when u write “fleet tap enema,” for a nurse that u really just don’t like.”
—
“Rectal trumpets.”
—Why are they see-through…
“Omg he trashing about!”
—Go see pt. Pt is sleeping.
What's your specialty? -M2 (thanks for the window into the future)
INternal med
“high dose ascorbic acid.”
FIRST DOSE NOW.” —when pt families google too much.
FIRST DOSE NOW.” —when pt families google too much.
“sitting at a nursing station.
minding your own business.
phantom poop smell wafts by.” —W.T.F. SHUT THE DOOR.
minding your own business.
phantom poop smell wafts by.” —W.T.F. SHUT THE DOOR.
“patient has pain”
—OMG YYYYYYY
“patient is agitated”
—yyyyyyyy
“you have to do a line.”
—3902482 patients left to round on.
“ICU: sign out rounds.”
—are they? aren’t they? … ever going to happen.
“1pm. Saturday ICU.
Rounded on.
1 person of my 11. None of the other interns 10.” —Shit
Rounded on.
1 person of my 11. None of the other interns 10.” —Shit
“enter cafeteria. fellows and attendings are also sitting + eating there.”
—do… you… … sit with them?
“lorna doones.”
—just can’t have 1 packet.
